What to do when people talk bull about you (Self confidence)

The world harbours plenty of insecure people. The kind of people of which i am talking about are the people who feel insecurity in themselves so much that they have to resort to underhand means like gossiping or rumour-spreading to feel that sense of power in themselves to make them feel better. To put it simply, they step on other people's heads to make them feel 'higher'.

This form of human behaviour is especially prevalent among adolescent females, though males are not exempt. The harm of which this bad-mouthing creates is something of which is a major concern. Schools don't teach people emotional intelligence. When these people hear what others gossip about them, the feelings of fear, anxiety, stress and all the other negative emotions come pounding on their hearts like drumsticks. So what should we do when people talk behind our backs and say not-so-nice things?

The is how a typical person would react.

1) She hears someone talk behind her back.
2)She gets upset, angry, emotional, teary.

then either of the following can occur...

a) She confronts the b*tch who said so-and-so about her and a cat fight will occur. (Well, something like that.)

b) She can follow my Patented 'Anti-bull protection' which i am going to share with you right now without you having to pay licensing fees.

What i do when people talk bull about me, whether in my face or behind my back, is this; I LISTEN TO EVERY SINGLE THING THEY SAY. Yes! That's the beauty of it! People would tell you to ignore, i would say go all out and listen to what the other person is saying, because that's where strength is developed. The more you ignore what people say, the harder it will be. The less you ignore, the more you'd realise that what they said is a whole load of bull, and the easier it will be for you to dismiss it.


So first thing is, i listen to what they say. Important Step #1.


2nd step! Almost as simple as the first one. Reflect on everything they said.
The thing is, even though you know that most of what people say about you is a truckload of crap, always know that there is also a learning opportunity behind it. Think to yourself the following question.

Which part of what they said is true and what can i do to improve myself based on it?

Always know that it is always easier to avoid the emotional pitfalls of bad gossip when we try to be understanding instead of being stubbornly arrogant. Your ears ain't closed, and what you try to dismiss is not going to be kept out just by you chanting to yourself, "I will not believe the crap they say about me". No, it's not going to work. You will eventually get the 'creeping effect' of the gossip and it will begin to affect you subconsciously, most probably in a negative way. So i say welcome the attack, pluck out the fruits ( the valid points of what they said), and throw away the thorns ( basically, the crap and bull). Simple as that. You won't get hurt. Tested and proven by me. So that's step #2.

That's the secret of repelling bad stuff you hear about yourself, from yourself. It's no use being an oyster with a hard shell that blocks off everything because one day it's just going to crack and affect the soft inside. My point here is, with the listen and reflect method, you have to be like a sponge which absorbs everything and nourish yourself with constructive stuff and release everything else which is not useful away. That is the way to handle negative feedback or rather, gossip.